Losing another . . now there are two… Posted on 12:00am Sunday 14th Apr 2019

I’m not really sure where to begin with this post but it needs writing so here goes..

We lost Pumpkin on Saturday 6th April at 9.55pm to old age, she had been unwell (more than usual) for a month since Beany passed to the Rainbow Bridge in March but kept having good days and bad days… though the bad days were beginning to take over….
Friday night she hadn’t wanted to eat very much but had (for her) eaten quite a large amount at the dinnertime feed session so we thought “perhaps let her have tonight off” as it’s not nice to keep being forced food when you’re feeling sick (in general terms I mean) and just spent the Friday evening session hugging her, listening to music and usual stuff in the cat cabin while Chewie and Eggy ate their foods and pottered about…

Saturday morning Pum didn’t look too good, she was distant and fidgety only wanting to curl up and hide from me while Johnny held her.. I had a sinking feeling that she was giving up so I let her just snuggle and we both kept talking to her, although looking back now we both that one session chose to wear blue nitrile gloves to hold her where despite any “gunkies” previously – we’d not bothered? I guess we both subconciously knew something that we were too caught up in current events to realise at the time?
Anyway late afternoon we said it was best to put her in her house as she was getting wobbly (shooting glances at eachother without either of us wanting to say anything pointedly) but it soon became apparent that she was more agitated than we’d first thought and immediately tried to walk out of the house again (oblivious to the fact her door was closed) and trampling in and out of the litterbox, bed, walking through the water bowl etc… 
We managed to calm her enough to make her at least lay down, unfortunately the only place she felt comfy and safe was the litter box (although it was not exactly “used” so that’s something I guess)…. she fell asleep on and off while we were still in the cabin tidying things, sorting food supplies and tending to other things that Chewie and Eggy needed….. 
Later in the evening I said I wanted to go out there earlier than usual in case she wanted to have a longer hug. We ended up in the cabin by I believe 7pm? I could be wrong.. It’s written in the scattered notes but I’m not reading them right now…
As soon as we got out there we both just “paused” and held our breath as Johnny lifted the house covers (both houses) and as I began to put the microwave heat pads in one at a time to heat I misheard John (quite from the other end of the cabin by Pum) say … or so I thought “She’s gone”……. I honestly froze and nearly dropped / threw things across the floor as I tried to get past the sofa…

Thankfully I had misheard him but not by much. I urged him to swap plaes with me and go finish the heat pads and keeping busy with Chewie up the other end of the cabin.. Meanwhile I dragged the pink chair closer to the house and rested my hand under Pums head. For over an hour I stayed by her side, trying my hardest to keep my thoughts calm and light so that she wouldn’t panic. There are better acounts of this across various diaries and on our facebook pages/profiles but I’ve not yet summoned up the courage to compile everything properly yet. At around 10pm she passed away.