An all new beginning – finding our feet all over again.

For details on how we came to be at this position now (as in – void of Beany, Pumpkin, Chewie AND Eggy in our lives…) please go here : The Cat Cabin – Saying Goodbye 

If you’re still here reading this then I’ll assume you’re all caught up and are now looking to find out what we’ve got to share with you about our future… 
You could quite literally say that losing them all shook the very foundations of our lives (myself and Johnny) and we felt as though we were floating around being on autopilot completing orders, doing everyday small things and just… going to bed early to be honest! That in itself says a lot – a heck of a lot… about our mental states 🙁

A week or two before Eggy passed away I did something wholey uncharacteristic of myself and went in search for cats and kittens on Gumtree – yes I KNOW – the devils place to find pets etc. I wasn’t actually seriously looking – just more of a “take my mind off … everything” kind of thing. Anyway I foolishly let myself get into a sort of “daydream” effectively about having a kitten (something I’ve never actually.. wanted – ever… although not that I have anything against them OBVIOUSLY, they turn into my beauties lol…I’d just never had one before and always adopted in older cats).
A few messages between myself and a couple of interesting adverts suddenly began to make me think clearly -What on earth was I doing?!
Yes – despite the fact we’d just lost Chewie, everyone – stranger, family member, people who’ve known us for years etc.. was telling us to get a kitten?! for Eggy to have company but we didn’t do that sort of thing here… only the vulnerable, the elderly, the unwell.. not a bouncing bundle of new squishy kitten!?
To top that, the replies I was getting from these people made me feel nervous of the whole thing! The sort of posts that make your skin crawl as you know something just doesn’t sit right. So I left it… went back to just doing work, spending time with Eggy and then coming in late at night to -well towards the end – literally sit and stare at the clock to count down the hours until we had to go out again as all we wanted to do was be with her and surrounded by the feelings of the other babies out there* but didn’t want to crowd her and she needed sleep and rest.
(*close your eyes and you can almost imagine they are still waddling around you, Chewie up on the food cupboard or microwave so she has a view of the room, Pum in and out of her bed or waddling around sniffing everything… and “Duck-quacking” obviously. Beany on his stool gently paddling at my leg and mooing soflty where you’d look up and see him staring dreamy eyed back at you for simply being there with him…. and Eggy hopping in and out of everyones beds to warm them for them but pretending to be all “I didn’t do it, you didn’t see me – don’t tell them I was in their beds” and cute lol…).

Anyway, a few days pass and I see how sad Eggy is getting, looking around the cabin to find her family and that wave of sadness we all shared as we would each do the same and realise they wouldn’t be where we were looking :-(… I began to think again, maybe we should get a kitten? I’d tried literally up and down the country over the past five or more months to let rescues, sanctuaries and charities know that we had plenty of space now to help them out and adopt more beautiful babies for our family and to give Eggy company.. but everything had gone to hell one way or another – the worst being told we weren’t good enough to have “their cats” etc.. I won’t go into that here – rubbish, entirely rubbish – but suffice to say we had scoured every corner and the only option left to us was “buying” them from home-birth / accidental litters etc. It did / does make me feel… awful to be honest. But what else could we do? A week to the exact date that our beautiful Chewie had slipped away – I woke up early feeling sick, depressed and like my heart would throw a fit if one more bad thing happened soon…. So I picked up my phone and casually flicked around on Gumtree again.. There out of the blue quite literally popped up two adverts… A black 10 month old boy in Cheltenham.. and an 11 week old girl in Bristol… Two places that are by no means far from us – but are also … not somewhere my dad would be thrilled at taking us to collect them… Sod it I thought – Sent a message to both. What’s the worst that can happen? more reasons to be sad and inwardly annoyed at myself for even trying when they say NOPE too? No big deal… Oh my god. From that moment on that day was pretty much a blur of panic mode. We were suddenly getting BOTH. I couldn’t belief it. I was almost holding my breath WAITING for something bad to happen, but nothing did! We collected a beautiful neutered 10 month old (now named) Benny-Bugle at lunchtime and by 1pm I had received the go ahead from the family in Bristol that we could collect the female kitten that evening. A quick pit stop back here to have food and settle Benny in the cabin… .and off Johnny / Dad / Mum went again this time to Bristol to collect our beautiful bundle of TINY kittenish cuteness… (now named) Luna. A quick call in to Tesco on the way back past our local in Swindon to grab some kitten food (again, NEVER had kittens… all new experience.. aggggghhhh) and then home they were, and cried we did. She was so much like Chewie immediately yet we both held off mentioning it to one another as we both thought “no it’s just… wishful thinking etc”… nope. Three weeks later and as she grows, the more she acts like Chewie. It’s wierd but we don’t care. 

Skip ahead a week again… and it’s now it’s the …. [this post never got finished]